As I write this, it’s a steamy July day. The temperature is topping out at 93 degrees, but the humidity is nudging that feeling above 100.
And I have one thing on my mind.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch.
Don’t judge me.
Do you buy seashell Christmas ornaments during your June vacation to Cape May?
OK then.
You go buy your ornaments. I’ll sit right here and think about Halloween III.
I have good reason. Although Jamie Lee Curtis and Michael Myers are nowhere near the plot of Halloween III, it’s supposed to be a good, scary movie.
And if Ebenezer Scrooge can keep Christmas in his heart all year round, I can keep Halloween in mine.
In October, I started watching Halloween III on Peacock.
Halfway through, my husband called me to dinner.
A few days later, I curled up with tea, cookies, and Peacock.
Except, no Halloween III.
No Halloween of any kind. Halloween 1978? Gone. Halloween 2018? Nope.
Frantic, I searched my other subscription streamers.
Nobody had Halloween III.
By this time, it was a few days past November first, which is Christmastime. I was busy singing along to Mariah and watching A Christmas Carol.
With George C. Scott.
Which makes me want to watch his horror movie, The Changeling.
Then the police picked up Willie.
By the time I was thinking about Halloween III again, it was June.
And Halloween III still wasn’t streaming on any service I subscribed to.
Fortunately, my library system has it on DVD.
Let’s talk about that for a minute.
One of the great services my library system provides is, like many libraries, the ability to order materials from other branches. Free of charge, those materials are delivered to my branch.
And if the item I want is at my branch?
Well, I can call dibs.
A little hold request through my library’s website and, well, you can’t have what I want.
Even better is my library system’s affiliation with Pennsylvania’s Power Library.
Do you know about the Power Library? It’s probably the best invention.
I mean, ever.
Is the book you want, I don’t know, malingering at a western Pennsylvania library somewhere?
No problem. If you’re willing to wait a few weeks, that book is all yours.
For a time.
For free.
I once received a letter from my library. They told me they were glad I was taking advantage of the interlibrary loan system.
And since I was using it so much, perhaps I’d like to make a donation?
I reserved my library system’s singular copy of Halloween III.
Except, by the time it arrived, I was headed to Montana.
In the time it took for me to pick up Halloween III from the library, tarry in Montana, get home, and snuggle up with Halloween III, Halloween III was due back at the library.
No problem. I’ll just go into my account and renew it and —
Wait.
I — I can’t renew it. The little green renew button — it’s not there.
And there’s a note in my account.
“This material,” it reads, “has been requested.”
What?
Who else is requesting Halloween III in June, almost July? This person — they want my movie just as I’m about to watch it?!
This person — they’re my mortal enemy.
“Or my soulmate,” I said to my husband. “What is the Venn diagram of Bucks County residents requesting Halloween III from the library in the dead of summer?”
Which is not the weirdest question I’ve asked him.
And if you’re sitting there feeling sorry for him — this great outdoorsman stuck with a wife in love with an interlibrary loan system providing her with Halloween III just as nights out on the deck get pleasant — don’t even.
Because a few weeks ago, I said to him, “Hey — I put your coconut water and worms in the door of the garage fridge.”
And that wasn’t even a euphemism.
So until you’ve encountered Styrofoam containers filled with live, wriggling worms in your fridge, please don’t feel sorry for the dude who put them there.
Now, I could hold onto Halloween III until I’ve watched it.
Of course I can.
What, is the library going to send some secret library police force after me?
Also, is the secret library police force hiring? Because there are many, many library rule breakers I’d like to incarcerate.
Stop reshelving books you’ve decided against checking out. Just stop. You’re putting them in the wrong place.
Anyway.
I’ve been on the receiving end of waiting for library materials. Of pining for the latest Ruth Ware or Riley Sager.
It’s awful.
It’s almost as bad as that first year I knew my husband, and thought he was just about perfect, and he wouldn’t ask me out.
Despite what he says now.
So, yes. I returned Halloween III, unwatched.
Then I waited a respectful ten days before I ordered it again.
It sits, now, in my rec room, waiting for me.
So, to the random Goth in Bucks County who put a hold on my Halloween III, call me.
I think we’re the only people who understand each other.
